Researchers say they have found a skull they say proves that our ancestors cared for deformed children rather than smashing them between rocks or something like that:
“Her/his pathological condition was not an impediment to receiv[ing] the same attention as any other Middle Pleistocene Homo child,” the the team of Spanish researchers write in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.
Hey look, buddy — I don’t know how they do it in Spain, but here in America we don’t consider being gay a deformity.
Anyway, the deformed skull is at least some evidence that early man showed more compassion than his primate ancestors. Even humans outside the nuclear family would have pitched in to help the deformed kid survive:
By reconstructing the skull from a bunch of pieces, the team was able to determine that the child likely suffered from craniosynostosis, a debilitating genetic disorder in which some pieces of the skull fuse too quickly, causing pressure to build in the brain. While they couldn’t tell the exact level of mental retardation likely to result from the malformation, it would have been considerable, requiring large amounts of extra care from the prehistorical human community.
Frankly I don’t know exactly what this means, but I think it explains a lot about Johnny Damon.
The five tools of the pre-modern ballplayer — hunting, gathering, grunting, farting, and throwing like a 10-year-old