We’ve already documented the murderous deviousness of komodo dragons on this site, but recent research reveals that these homicidal jungle gargoyles are far more dangerous than we previously thought.
Not only will they tear you limb from limb, but it turns out their saliva also contains a poison that can kill you:
Scientists at the University of Melbourne used computer models to investigate the strength of the lizards’ bite and found it was weak compared with other predators, such as the Australian saltwater crocodile.
But magnetic resonance imaging scans revealed complex venom glands in the dragons’ mouths that had never been documented before.
Bryan Fry, who led the team, surgically removed the glands from a terminally ill dragon in a zoo. Tests showed they contained a similar poison to that found in Gila monsters and snakes, according to a report in Proceedings of the National Academy Sciences.
The powerful venom has a devastating effect on prey, causing a sudden drop in blood pressure that sends them into shock. At the same time, the venom stops the victim’s blood clotting, so it bleeds to death.
Rest assured we will not take this latest threat lying down. I have a team of scientists fast at work developing a toxin that can be fired into komodo dragons from a blow gun and give the beasts hemophilia. We’ll see how those toady bastards like the idea of bleeding to death…