Monday Random 10: Crunchberry Edition

Pax Arcana

OK, so some shit came up at work on Friday and I didn’t even have time for the Random 10. Here is my attempt to rectify.

crunchberriesFalse advertising may seem like a trivial offense, but in reality it is a very serious crime against the public. Unscrupulous companies can hide the true costs, risks, or quality of the products they sell — thereby reducing public confidence in the very capitalism upon which we’ve constructed our redoubtable and indestructible financial system.

For Janine Sugawara, the danger of false advertising is all too clear. For four years she was mislead by the deceptive behavior of one Cap’n Crunch and his stooges in the advertising community.

Let it be known that this Cap’n Crunch is a brigand who likely received his officer’s commission through all manner of deceit and skullduggery:

On May 21, a judge of the U.S. District Court for the Eastern District of California dismissed a complaint filed by a woman who said she had purchased “Cap’n Crunch with Crunchberries” because she believed “crunchberries” were real fruit.  The plaintiff, Janine Sugawara, alleged that she had only recently learned to her dismay that said “berries” were in fact simply brightly-colored cereal balls, and that although the product did contain some strawberry fruit concentrate, it was not otherwise redeemed by fruit.  She sued, on behalf of herself and all similarly situated consumers who also apparently believed that there are fields somewhere in our land thronged by crunchberry bushes.

Sugawara is undoubtedly upset by this setback, but I for one refuse to quit. I will press on against these tyrants. For example, did you know that Cheerios aren’t made of real cheer? And that Life cereal isn’t made of the souls of the recently deceased? And that Fruity Pebbles AREN’T MADE OF REAL PEBBLES?

It’s true. And it’s got to stop.

The songs:

A Hand to Take Hold of the Scene — Okkervil River
Go-Go Girls — Frightened Rabbit
Archers — Faces on Film
Apartment Story — The National
Wave of Mutilation — The Pixies
Eye Know — De La Soul
Your Southern Can Is Mine — The White Stripes
A Girl in Port — Okkervil River
Arms and Hearts — The Hold Steady
Plateau — Nirvana

Bonus Video:

Lisztomania — Phoenix (Brat Pack Mashup)

The Rules: The Friday Random 10 is exactly that — random. We open up our iTunes, set the thing on shuffle, and listen to 10 songs. We are not permitted to skip any out of embarrassment or fear of redundancy. Commenters are encouraged to post their own.


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1 Comment

Filed under food

One response to “Monday Random 10: Crunchberry Edition

  1. Weren’t you and I talking about how it’s weird that people don’t file more false advertising claims recently? Or did you post something about it? Or did I dream this up?

    I was reading an article on ESPN today and noticed an ad for their fantasy football magazine. It proclaimed “59 can’t-miss sleepers”. Really?

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