I typically resist the temptation to use this space for vainglorious trumpeting of my many remarkable triumphs, but today I will make an exception.
Earlier this week I played a company softball game despite suffering from a stubbed toe — the result of tripping over my laptop power cord that morning.
I know — we’re so inundated with tales of bravery that it’s difficult for you to appreciate the courage necessary to perform under duress. But I’d like to see you hobble out to do battle against a co-ed collection of medical textbook editors on a toe that is throbbing like someone dropped something moderately heavy — like a medium iced coffee or maybe a tupperware jar full of soup — on it.
For a slightly-less impressive example of courage under fire, consider the case of Tom Wanyandie. The 78-year-old Canadian man and his son were walking through the woods when they were attacked by a grizzly bear. The younger man’s arm was crushed as the bear descended upon him, but fortunately Tom Wanyandie knew the two critical steps for driving away a raging grizzly:
Step 1: Swear at the bear in Cree
Step 2: Ram a long stick right down the bear’s fucking throat
As an angry grizzly bear tossed around James Wanyandie, leaving his left arm busted and useless, the 39-year-old Alberta man was sure he was as good as dead.
He lay on the ground in the bush near Grande Cache, as he watched his elderly father, Tom, charge toward the attacking bear, yelling and using every Cree swear word he knew. And then, Tom, who is no ordinary senior citizen, took his walking stick, a branch picked up earlier off the ground, and rammed it down the animal’s throat.
“He was calling it very unkindly names,” said Bazil Leonard, who has known the Wanyandie family for three decades, “because he talks English very poorly, so any Cree swear word, he was using them all.”
“Tom’s not the kind of man that would run,” he added. “He’d fight no matter what. He’s not a 78-year-old you might find in an old-folks home.”
Sure, but did he go 3 for 4 with three RBI later that night? The answer is no — because he broke his hand punching a grizzly bear in the face. So I think I’ve made my point.
Feisty senior sticks it to grizzly [Globe and Mail]