Jim Bunning is still a Phillie

Pax Arcana

jim_bunning_doucheBy now you’re probably familiar with my opinion of the Philadelphia Phillies. By which I mean the entire organization and its fanbase is a fetid pool of douche limned by a thick ring of fuckfacery.

But did you know that this is not a new development? It’s true! While today’s Phillies team features smirky fratboy douchebag fuckface asshole Cole Hamels, wife-punching caveman Brett Myers, and steroid-addled asscrack JC Romero, the diseased core of the franchise was built by historical knob-jobs like Pete Rose, Dick Allen, and several thousand others.

Consider the case of Senator Jim Bunning of Kentucky, a former Phillies pitcher and probably the worst Hall of Famer not named Phil Rizzuto. Not only is Bunning something of a paranoid who has accused “little green doctors” of attacking him at public events and once exhorted the people to vote for him because his opponent (an Italian-American doctor) looked too much like Saddam Hussein’s sons — he also just got nabbed red-handed breaking Senate rules by accepting money for autographs:

Bunning has paid himself a total of $155,000 in salary from the foundation since 2001, according to disclosure documents reviewed by The Hill. He works on foundation business for an estimated one hour a week.

The foundation was created in 1996, when Bunning was a member of the House of Representatives. In 2008, IRS documents show Bunning attended two autograph-signing events, for which the foundation was paid $12,595. Along with a licensing program run by the Hall of Fame, the foundation took in a total of $16,091.

But as Bunning was being paid as the foundation’s sole employee, the Jim Bunning Foundation has consistently donated less than the $20,000 the senator collects. The foundation has never given more than $19,575 in a year, according to IRS documents and documents Bunning has filed with the Senate.

It should be noted that there’s probably nothing illegal about what Bunning is doing. It’s douchey, but not illegal. Like tribal tattoos and baby corn. YOU’RE NOT FOOLING ANYONE BABY CORN. WHY DON’T YOU COME BACK WHEN YOU’RE ALL GROWN UP?

Bunning makes $20K from baseball signings [The Hill]


1 Comment

Filed under baseball

One response to “Jim Bunning is still a Phillie

  1. Coach Football

    I disagree on one point. Dick Allen rocks.

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