I’m not a homosexual, but it’s safe to say I’m something of a spokesman for the gay community. The gays trust me implicitly ever since I admonished my gardner for his callous use of the word “pansy.” I don’t care what he says, that word is a slur and is never to be uttered in polite society. I would have fired him if he wasn’t almost entirely unpaid.
Lately things have gone well for the gays. President Obama gave same-sex benefits to federal workers, Sacha Baron Cohen started a new conversation about tolerance and gay rights, and some California gays were able to celebrate an actual anniversary.
But that’s not the best part. According to the Times (UK), gay animals are not only prevalent in the world of wildlife, but they can also save whole populations of endangered species:
They found that on the Hawaiian island of Oahu, almost a third of the Laysan albatross population is raised by pairs of two females because of the shortage of males. Through these ‘lesbian’ unions, Laysan albatross are flourishing. Their existence had been dwindling before the adaptation was noticed.
Other species form same-sex bonds for other reasons, they found. Dolphins have been known engage in same-sex interactions to facilitate group bonding while male-male pairings in locusts killed off the weaker males.
A pair of “gay” penguins recently hatched an egg at a German zoo after being given the egg that had been rejected by its biological parents by keepers.
These findings are not surprising to modern men like myself. I only wish we would show gay humans the same trust and respect we show our gay penguins. There’s no way two gay guys wouldn’t be awesome at raising a baby penguin. They’re born in black tie and spend more time by the pool than Elton John, for Christ’s sake.