The 12-step program for home ownership

Pax Arcana

The color-savvy and well-appointed Mrs. Pax Arcana and I are officially homeowners this morning, after closing on our new condo yesterday afternoon.

Our property
We’re like this, only better-looking and less denim-y

Now that we’re finally the stewards of our own domain, please allow me to sum up the first-time homebuyer’s experience in 12 steps. Consider it a free course for the uninitiated:

Step 1: Oooooooh, pretty!

Step 2: How much? OK how bout less? Ummmmmmmm, OK YES WE”LL TAKE IT!

Step 3: What’s that?

Step 4: Huh?

Step 5: When? Can I email it — I don’t have a fax machine.

Step 6: What does this mean?

Step 7: Where? How much is that?

Step 8: GUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHH

Step 9: Didn’t I already sign that?

Step 10: CAN SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHAT’S GOING ON RIGHT NOW?

Step 11: Whatever. I’ll sign whatever you want.

Step 12: Drink Prosecco out of 10-ounce tumblers in your new kitchen. You can’t sit down, though, because there are no chairs.

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4 Comments

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4 responses to “The 12-step program for home ownership

  1. Mrs Pax Arcana

    Oh my gosh – she has the same overall-jorts as me.

  2. And his hair is frosty-tipped like mine.

  3. May I compliment Mrs. Pax on her great legs? And the bare midriff plus overalls aren’t bad either.

  4. Perry Ellis

    Step 13: Start brown-bagging it so you can afford the mortgage payments.

    Condolences, er, congratulations! Can’t wait to check out the new crib. Hey, speaking of cribs

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