The color-savvy and well-appointed Mrs. Pax Arcana and I are officially homeowners this morning, after closing on our new condo yesterday afternoon.
Now that we’re finally the stewards of our own domain, please allow me to sum up the first-time homebuyer’s experience in 12 steps. Consider it a free course for the uninitiated:
Step 1: Oooooooh, pretty!
Step 2: How much? OK how bout less? Ummmmmmmm, OK YES WE”LL TAKE IT!
Step 3: What’s that?
Step 4: Huh?
Step 5: When? Can I email it — I don’t have a fax machine.
Step 6: What does this mean?
Step 7: Where? How much is that?
Step 8: GUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHH
Step 9: Didn’t I already sign that?
Step 10: CAN SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHAT’S GOING ON RIGHT NOW?
Step 11: Whatever. I’ll sign whatever you want.
Step 12: Drink Prosecco out of 10-ounce tumblers in your new kitchen. You can’t sit down, though, because there are no chairs.