Quien es el bandito?

Pax Arcana

According to the Newton Tab, it appears there is a bandit of some sort run amok on the leafy streets of that suburb. At first the bandit merely covered someone’s car with flour, but recently he or she covered another car with flour, eggs, and salsa.

banditoThe presence of an exotic foreign ingredient like salsa indicates that this bandit is actually a bandito — perhaps a cartoonish one like the image at right. If you don’t mind, I’m going to use the rest of this post to address the bandito directly in his native language. Foreign languages have always come naturally to me, so perhaps I can help diffuse this situation.

Hola Senor Bandito,

Me llamo Paxito Arcanana. Yo soy escribador del Internet. Y tu eres un bandito muy fuerte y intelligente. Yo creo que eres el mejor bandito en todo el mundo. Tienes huevos aceros, mi amigo.

Por favor, bandito, no molesta mi coche. Es muy viejo, y no tengo dinero por un otro.

Entonces, yo se un otro hombre que tiene un coche. Se llama Father Scott, y su barba es muy feo. El coche de Father Scott es en Dedham usualmente. Busca un coche con fragrancia raro — como Pringles y flatulencia juntos.

Gracias, bandito mysterioso. Gracias.

Newton’s flour vandal experimenting with new dishes [Newton Tab]



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4 responses to “Quien es el bandito?

  1. Perry Ellis

    Me gusta mucho.

  2. drfrenchfry

    cracker-porch bandito?

  3. Jaelynne

    Hahahahaha. Hall of fame post. Bien, bien.

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