Then something happened. As with beer, salsa, olives, and lots of other things in the supermarket, demand for fancier types of mustard skyrocketed. All of sudden you could easily buy spicy brown mustard, mustard with seeds in it, mustard with honey in it, mustard with cranberries in it, and — of course — Grey Poupon, which has white wine and other faggy French-sounding stuff in it.
So why has ketchup — mustard’s happier cousin — looked exactly the same all this time? In 2004, Malcolm Gladwell predicted that ketchup was bound for a revolution of its own. But that never happened:
But five years later, ketchup is in the same place: Supermarkets still feature the same tiny selection, a handful of restaurants make their own, and tiny gourmet producers barely make a nick in the ketchup market. In fact, it would appear that the fledgling company Gladwell wrote about in his article, World’s Best Ketchup, has gone out of business — a Google search for the company primarily brings up links to Gladwell’s 2004 article, and a phone number for the business has been disconnected.
The article suggests that we start making our own ketchup at home to get the bright flavors we’re missing in the standard mass-produced bottle. I say that sounds like an awful lot of work just so I can paint fake blood stains in my wife’s ears while she’s asleep. It’s hard enough remembering to wake her up in the middle of the night, screaming that the cyborgs are eating our brains.
Magic Number — De La Soul
Warning Device — Teenage Bottlerocket
The Czar: Usurper/Escape/Martyr/Spiral — Mastodon
Kick out the Jams — Bad Brains and Henry Rollins
Learn How — Mission of Burma
Who’s Laughing — Miles Benjamin Anthony Robinson
Pennyroyal Tea — Nirvana
Rosalita (Come out Tonight) — Bruce Springsteen
The Crane Wife 3 — The Decemberists
Bess, You Is My Woman Now — Miles Davis
Bret, You’ve Got it Going On — Flight of the Conchords
The Rules: The Friday Random 10 is exactly that — random. We open up our iTunes, set the thing on shuffle, and listen to 10 songs. We are not permitted to skip any out of embarrassment or fear of redundancy. Commenters are encouraged to post their own.