Japan’s first lady has been to Venus


It’s a good thing I’m only halfway finished compiling the 2009 edition of the Pax Arcana Guide to Top First Ladies, because this latest bit of information has me reconsidering my top 5 (sorry Tatyana Karimova!).

Not only is Miyuki Hatoyama a macrobiotic chef and former actress, according to this article in the Independent (UK), but she has also visited Venus and knew Tom Cruise in his former life. Seriously!

“While my body was asleep, I think my soul rode on a triangular-shaped UFO and went to Venus,” she explains in the tome she published last year. “It was a very beautiful place, and it was very green.”

When the new Japanese first lady related her adventures to her then husband, he told her flatteningly that it was probably just a dream. But she is confident that Yukio, the man now entrusted with the task of hauling Japan out of its deepest recession, would have reacted very differently. “My current husband has a different way of thinking. He would surely say, ‘Oh, that’s great’,” she wrote.

Not only did she meet Tom Cruise in his former life — he was Japanese then — but she looks forward to making a movie with him in the future. Because yeah!

How do we know all this about the Japanese first lady? She wrote it all down in a book titled “Very Strange Things I’ve Encountered,” making this officially the cherry on top of the awesomeness sundae that is Japan. Seriously, this story is so awesome I want to drink it with milk beer and just let it course through my veins and be absorbed into my bloodstream. My liver wouldn’t even need to filter it because it’s just so pure. Then I’d pee it out into a silver chalice and drink it again to try to regain the awesome feeling. Ew. This time it just tastes like urine. Must be the milk beer.

I have been abducted by aliens, says Japan’s first lady [Independent]



Filed under science

3 responses to “Japan’s first lady has been to Venus

  1. This reminds me of the Last Samurai joke Paul Mooney did on Chappelle’s Show. I miss Chappelle’s Show.

  2. That’s a sweet bit.ly address you got for the Tuesday filler article, by the way.

  3. “Hi:

    Two things

    1) I’d like your permission to (re)print your article on Flight of the conchords
    for our website

    2) I was hoping we could use your ‘scribing’ talent for our website.

    The Best Shows Youre Not Watching (dot) com [all one word]

    ‘The Clone Wars’ is one of our featured shows. We’re hoping to round up a few people who can occasionally contribute perspective (via an article/blog) on the shows – maybe a recent episode, future direction, plot shortcomings etc.

    What’s in it for you?
    Primarily a larger audience back channeled to your blog. We don’t pay but the site has a lot of promise and we’re pretty excited about getting it off the ground. Let me know what you think.


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