Goodbye, Saturn


The collapse of a deal between General Motors and the Penske automotive group spells the end of car maker Saturn, according to the Detroit Free-Press. The deal apparently fell apart almost immediately after it rolled off the assembly line, when the cardboard and aluminum foil that held it together disintegrated in a light rain.

Penske blames the collapse on its failure to secure a separate deal with a third party (Renault-Nissan) to manufacture more Saturns in the future. Industry analysts point out that most Saturn models are held together by baling wire, wood glue, and empty McDonalds wrappers — materials not readily accessible outside of Saturn’s unique supply chain.

The demise of Saturn could cost 13,000 jobs, though insiders say many of those employees will be able to survive for months by consuming the cars themselves — approximately 22% of every Saturn is made of compressed lima beans and other organic matter.

“This is very disappointing news and comes after months of hard work by hundreds of dedicated employees and Saturn retailers who tried to make the new Saturn a reality,” Fritz Henderson, GM chief executive officer, said.

The old Saturn was a reality since 1985, when General Motors decided to compete with small, attractive, high-quality Japanese cars by manufacturing cars made of old stapler parts. The first Saturn models were sold out of the trunks of larger cars. No one is really sure why they couldn’t sell enough to stay in business.

Penske-Saturn deal collapses after Renault-Nissan backs out [Detroit Free-Press]



Filed under business, cars

5 responses to “Goodbye, Saturn

  1. This article relates a little bit to Saturn’s beginnings, just to bring things full circle:

    My dad drove a (used, even) Saturn for a little while when he had a crazy-long commute. He put like 45,000 miles on it in a little over a year, and it started to die. My cousin, a mechanic, looked at it and said he needed to get a new car because, basically, the engine was falling apart. My dad took it to a dealer to trade and the dealer asked if there was anything wrong with it, he said “I’m no mechanic.”

    He got rid of it with no problem and got his new car, and is as proud of that story as you are of the time you nailed the chick with the boyfriend, or whatever.

  2. Fallen Angel

    so what we’ve learned here is that davin is a massive tool and scott’s father may have indirectly caused someone’s death

  3. More than likely, the dealership just lost money on the car, and the manager lost his job. And his kids couldn’t buy new clothes that year for school, so they were made fun of. His wife left him, and he now lives in Grand Falls and is an alcoholic.

    But I doubt anyone died.

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