Whether it’s monkeying with our ocean levels or turning people into werewolves, I think we can all agree that the moon is a total douche. In fact, the moon was just awarded the Nobel Prize for Fuckfacery. So when a bunch of scientists got together this morning and fired a rocket up its ass, a single joyful tear fell down my cheek.
Oh, and we’re looking for water. Moon water:
Of greatest interest is whether there is water ice hidden in the crater’s perpetual darkness and frigidness. The data could play into the debate over where NASA’s human spaceflight program should aim next, whether to return to the Moon or head elsewhere in the solar system neighborhood. The presence of large significant amounts of water could make it easier to set up future settlements with the ice providing water and oxygen.
What the hell is it with scientists and their obsession with making us all live on the moon? Oh they’ll tell you it’s so they can use the moon as a jumping-off point for deep space exploration, but let’s be honest about what’s happening — these nerds want to float around in zero gravity on a space station. Well, me too nerds. Me too.
Oh, and good job firing a rocket up the moon’s ass.
This has been Pax Arcana with your in-depth science report. Take it away, Jim…