Author Archives: boxman37

Lists of Everything

Fallen Angel

I could have tried to be clever and called this post “Listomania” to reference Phoenix, but I’m not that much of a douchebag. Instead, I’m just presenting to you the 100% scientifically accurate lists of the Top 101 Songs of the Decade, the Top 104.1 Songs of 2009 (in honor of the late WBCN), and the Top 10 Albums of 2009. Also, check out my 2009 in Review note on Facebook here.

If you don’t like it, sit and wait for Pax’s lists that are TBA.

Top 10 Albums of 2009

Worst Album: Muse – The Resistance
10. Kylesa – Static Tensions
9. Have Nots – Serf City USA
8. Cage the Elephant – Cage the Elephant
7. New Found Glory – Not Without A Fight
6. MC Lars – This Gigantic Robot Kills
5. Rancid – Let The Dominoes Fall
4. Anti-Flag – The People or the Gun
3. Lamb of God – Wrath
2. Billy Talent – Billy Talent III
1. Psychostick – Sandwich

Top 104.1 Songs of 2009

104.1. The Mighty Mighty Bosstones – You Left Right? (Pin Points And Gin Joints)
104. Clutch – Motherless Child (Strange Cousins From The West)
103. Big Business – Ayes Have It (Mind The Drift)
102. Kittie – Falling Down (In The Black)
101. Les Claypool – Bite Out Of Life (Of Fungi And Foe)
100. Franz Ferdinand – No You Girls (Tonight: Franz Ferdinand)
99. Atmosphere – C’mon (Leak at Will)
98. Brand New – At the Bottom (Daisy)
97. Arctic Monkeys – Crying Lightning (Humbug)
96. Marilyn Manson – Arma-Goddamn-Motherfuckin-Geddon (The High End Of Low)
95. A Fine Frenzy – What I Wouldn’t Do (Bomb In A Birdcage)
94. Lady Sovereign – So Human (Jigsaw)
93. Biffy Clyro – The Captain (Only Revolutions)
92. Lunatica – The Incredibles (New Shores)
91. Static-X – Terminal (Cult Of Static)
90. The New Alibis – The Otherside (Hard Promises)
89. Hockey – Too Fake (Mind Chaos)
88. Dethklok – The Gears (Dethalbum II)
87. Delain – Control The Storm (April Rain)
86. Death by Stereo – I Sing for You (Death Is My Only Friend)
85. Amberian Dawn – Shallow Waters (The Clouds Of Northland Thunder)
84. The Decemberists – Won’t Want For Love (Margaret In the Taiga) (The Hazards Of Love)
83. Idlewild – Readers & Writers (Post Electric Blues)
82. (hed) P.E. – Tow The Line (New World Orphans)
81. Suidakra – Feats Of War (Crógacht)
80. The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus – Lonely Road (Lonely Road)
79. Regina Spektor – The Calculation (Far)
78. Tori Amos – Not Dying Today (Abnormally Attracted To Sin)
77. The Raveonettes – Bang! (In And Out Of Control)
76. NOFX – Best God In Show (Coaster)
75. Florence And The Machine – Kiss With A Fist (Lungs)
74. Hedley – Cha-Ching (The Show Must Go)
73. Chevelle – Jars (Sci-Fi Crimes)
72. Atreyu – You Were The King, And Know You’re Unconscious (Congregation Of The Damn)
71. Yeah Yeah Yeahs – Zero (It’s Blitz!)
70. The Bravery – Hatefuck (Stir The Blood)
69. cKy – The Boardwalk Body (Carver City)
68. August Burns Red – Existence (Constellations)
67. Pete Yorn & Scarlett Johansson – Relator (Breakup)
66. The Pains of Being Pure at Heart – The Tenure Itch (The Pains of Being Pure at Heart)
65. Kasabian – Underdog (West Ryder Pauper Lunatic Asylum)
64. Bomb the Music Industry! – It Shits!!! (Scrambles)
63. AFI – I Am Trying Very Hard To Be Here (Crash Love)
62. Converge – Dark Horse (Axe To Fall)
61. The Enemy – Elephant Song (Music For The People)
60. All Time Low – A Party Song (The Walk of Shame) (Nothing Personal)
59. Arch Enemy – Pilgrim (The Root of All Evil)
58. Metric – Stadium Love (Fantasies)
57. White Lies – From The Stars (To Lose My Life)
56. Lily Allen – Everyone’s At It (It’s Not Me, It’s You)
55. Muse – Guiding Light (The Resistance)
54. Insane Clown Posse – Bang! Pow! Boom! (Bang! Pow! Boom!)
53. Collective Soul – Welcome All Again (Collective Soul)
52. The Thermals – When I Died (Now We Can See)
51. Tegan & Sara – Hell (Sainthood)
50. stellastarr* – Warchild (Civilized)

Continues after the break…

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Opportunity Lost

Fallen Angel

Yeah so I haven’t posted anything here in a while, but I had to take this chance to vent, especially with Pax outta here.  Despite being a fan of both wrestling AND the Insane Clown Posse (yeah, I rule, what of it?), I managed to miss this.  The worst part is, I was actually on vacation when it happened.  Further proof that I suck at life.  Thanks for not taking me Father Scott…now I missed the sex in the air…

Nothing says hardcore like BOUNCY BOXING~!

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Viva La Resistance!

Fallen Angel

http://project126.wordpress.com/

Pax about to get pwnd

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Royal Rumble Liveblog

Fallen Angel

Rumble Logo

While Pax is on the shelf looking like Vicky Guerrero, I’m free to bring back the liveblog (a concept I invented for the 2008 World Series) for what is historically the most fun professional wrestling pay-per-view of all time: Royal Rumble.

For those unclear on the concept, the event is based around one match in which 30 men enter the ring at 90-second intervals. The only way to be eliminated is to be thrown over the top rope and have both feet hit the floor. The winner allegedly gets a title shot in the main event at Wrestlemania…although that hasn’t been happening recently.

Here’s predictions.  Be here at 8 to watch it all unfold…

WWE Women’s Title Match: Beth Phoenix © vs. Melina

Winner: Beth Phoenix. But Melina is smokin’ hot.

ECW Title Match: Jack Swagger © vs. Matt Hardy

Winner: Jack Swagger. Could be decent, but two very boring individuals.
WWE Title Match: Jeff Hardy © vs. Edge

Winner: Edge. Will Christian re-debut after defecting from TNA? Did Matt attack Jeff? Does anyone care?

World Title Match: John Cena © vs. JBL

Winner: John Cena.  This match WILL suck hairy monkey balls.

The Royal Rumble Match: Known Participants: HHH, The Big Show, Vladimir Kozlov, Shelton Benjamin, The Undertaker, Randy Orton, Kofi Kingston, Rey Mysterio, The Miz, John Morrison, Cody Rhodes, Ted DiBiase, Kane, Santino Marella, R-Truth, THE Brian Kendrick, Carlito, CM Punk, Finlay, Mark Henry, Chris Jericho, The Great Khali, Chavo Guerrero

Winner: Randy Orton
Runner-up: Triple H
Iron Man: Triple H
Shortest time in the ring: Santino Marella
Most eliminations: Kane
#1 and #2: Triple H and Shawn Michaels
Entry # of 27 (luckiest number to enter at):  Kozlov
Entry #30: Christian
Winning #: 10
Surprise/unannounced entrants (7): Shawn Michaels, Kennedy, Umaga, Christian, Hurricane Helms, MVP, Cowboy Bob Orton
Will the endurance record of 62:12 held by Rey Mysterio be broken? NO
Final Four: Triple H, Randy Orton, Shawn Michaels, Kozlov
If Charlie Haas is a participant, who does he imitate? Batista

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Top 100 of 2008

Fallen Angel

I'm taking over tonight.

I'm taking over tonight.

10 albums totally cramped my style. Here are the Top 100 SONGS of 2008. For those of you with Facebook capabilities, to read a more complete version with comments (including my mother pwning The Hold Steady), plus a full 2008 in review post, go here.

And now hear this:

100. Unearth – Crow Killer

99. The Streets – Heaven for the Weather

98. Trivium – Of Prometheus and the Crucifix

97. Less Than Jake – This One’s Gonna Leave a Bruise

96. Testament – Henchmen Ride

95. Millencolin – Detox

94. Weezer – Pork and Beans

93. The Orphans – Crows

92. The Damned – Under the Wheels

91. Redska – Ora Dopo Ora

90. Dandy Warhols – Wasp in the Lotus

89. The Breeders – Walk It Off

88. Bury Your Dead – Fools Gold

87. Vivian Girls – Where Do You Run To

86. Eagles of Death Metal – Secret Plans

85. Everlast – Letters Home from the Garden of Stone

84. Kaiser Chiefs – Half the Truth

83. Pendulum – Propane Nightmares

82. Senses Fail – Wolves at the Door

81. Pennywise – Affliction

80. Mindless Self Indulgence – Lights Out

79. Cancer Bats – Bastard’s Waltz

78. Children of Bodom – Banned from Heaven

77. AC/DC – Rock ‘N’ Roll Train

76. Nine Inch Nails – Discipline

75. The Killers – This Is Your Life

74. The Donots – Break My Stride

73. Anti-Flag – Good and Ready

72. TV on the Radio – Halfway Home

71. Ill Nino – The Alibi of Tyrants

70. The Raveonettes – Blitzed

69. The Raconteurs – Salute Your Solution

68. Jem – I Want You To…

67. Apollo Sunshine – 666: The Coming of The New World Government

66. Slipknot – Vendetta

65. Phantom Planet – Do the Panic

64. Okkervil River – Singer Songwriter

63. She Wants Revenge – A Hundred Kisses

62. Flogging Molly – Requiem for a Dying Song

61. Walls of Jericho – The American Dream

60. Bullet for My Valentine – Waking the Demon

59. Filter – Soldiers of Misfortune

58. Rise Against – The Dirt Whispered

57. Sponge – Time Bomb USA

56. In Flames – Alias

55. The Gaslight Anthem – Great Expectations

54. The Offspring – Hammerhead

53. Cavalera Conspiracy – Inflikted

52. Finch – Chinese Organ Thieves

51. The Walkmen – In the New Year

50. Coldplay – Lost!

49. Stephen Marley and Damian Marley – The Mission

48. Secret Machines – Atomic Heels

47. The Chatlatans UK – Oh! Vanity

46. Supergrass – Rebel in You

45. Be Your Own Pet – The Kelly Affair

44. Teenage Bottlerocket – In the Basement

43. Korpiklanni – Metsämies

42. The Hold Steady – Sequestered in Memphis

41. Goldfinger – Handjobs for Jesus

40. N.E.R.D. – Spazz

39. Vampire Weekend – Oxford Comma

38. The Fratellis – My Friend John

37. Weezer – Troublemaker

36. The Stills – Being Here

35. Los Campesinos! – Death to Los Campesinos!

34. Innerpartysystem – Don’t Stop

33. Panic! At the Disco – Nine in the Afternoon

32. Gnarls Barkley – Run

31. The Ting Tings – Great DJ

30. Atmosphere – You

29. Hollywood Undead – Undead

28. Death Cab for Cutie – No Sunlight

27. Cold War Kids – Something Is Not Right with Me

26. DragonForce – The Warrior Inside

25. The Gaslight Anthem – The ’59 Sound

24. Noah and the Whale – 5 Years Time

23. Scars on Broadway – They Say

22. No Age – Eraser

21. The Matches – Wake the Sun

20. The Wombats – Let’s Dance to Joy Division

19. Black Kids – I’m Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How to Dance with You

18. Ludo – Love Me Dead

17. Vampire Weekend – A-Punk

16. The Offspring – You’re Gonna Go Far, Kid

15. Anti-Flag – The Bright Lights of America

14. Hit the Lights – Stay Out

13. One Day As a Lion – Wild International

12. Flobots – Handlebars

11. Tickle Me Pink – Typical

10. MIA – Paper Planes

9. The Melvins – Nude with Boots

8. Immortal Technique – The 3rd World

7. All That Remains – Two Weeks

6. Kate Nash – Foundations

5. Alkaline Trio – Help Me

4. The Airborne Toxic Event – Sometime Around Midnight

3. The Whigs – Right Hand on My Heart

2. MGMT – Time to Pretend

1. The Street Dogs –Two Angry Kids

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There’s a new beast in the East

Fallen Angel

To be clear, this is the American League East, not the AAAA East. It’s not Mark Teixeira. It’s not Mike Cameron. It’s not Derek Lowe. It’s not Ben Sheets. And it sure as hell ain’t CC and his burritos.

I present to you, MATT JOYCE~!

Joyce Flies!He can fly! (p.s. that was a Pedroia out)

Joyce Admires!He can admire his home runs like Manny!

He’s 24. He hit 12 homers and had an OPS of .831 in 92 games last season for Detroit. That extrapolates to 24+ homers in 500 at bats, folks.

And what did he cost? Edwin Jackson. The man with a blazing fastball but who can’t give five quality innings to save his life.

With right field now under lockdown, the Rays can concentrate on signing Milton Bradley or another model citizen to be regular DH. Toss in Mr. Clutch Gabe the Babe Gross and a better-be-re-signed Rocco Baldelli, and you have the ultimate platoon.

Red Sox, Yankees, Blue Jays, and Orioles. FEAR MATT JOYCE. The ultimate Winter Meetings prize.

On a much more somber note, this all but ensures the end of the Jonny Gomes Era in Tampa Bay. Let us have a moment of silence as we remember the good and great time of the Greatest Player Who Ever Lived.

Dirtdog

Defense

Stomp

Yoga

Ray Pool

Pyro!

Brawlfense

Cocoisabitch

He like burritos, too

Walk-off

Ax Man

Mmmmmmm...

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The Correct List(s)

Fallen Angel

So, admittedly, I am not a very album-oriented music fan. Rather, I try to get into a few tracks from as many artists as possible each year. That means I love radio and the Wikipedia list of album releases for each year. That being said, along with my obsession with lists and my drive to infuse Pax Arcana with metal-y goodness, I present 10 must-have albums that came out in 2008 in no particular order.

As a bonus, I’m including a list of the top 10 girls of music in 2008. The purpose is three-fold: 1) I get to look these women up online and find their pictures, 2) Facebook, where I post my full 2008 year in review (ask Father Scott, that shit’s epic) makes posting pictures a huge pain in the ass, and 3) I want to see how much my taste bothers Padre and how angry I get when he calls them all “nothing special” like the glorious Novotel Amerstam hostess.

NOTE: The preceding paragraph was typed before researching for photos. Upon further review, the crop this year is not nearly on the level of previous years’, and Scott will take pleasure in ripping all my choices. In fact, it took a lot of research for a couple of them to find flattering pictures. The absence of new albums from Lacuna Coil (Cristina Scabbia) and Arch Enemy (Angela Gossow) hurt things a lot.

A full year in review, including a list of top 100 songs will be out it time for the new year.  In the meantime, the first five albums here. Next five and the girlies after the jump.

Korpiklaani – Korven Kuningas

Metal album art pwns j00!

Metal album art pwns j00!

The next time someone asks me why I love Finland so much despite never visiting (for the record, it’s the Dudesons, the women, the general metal scene, and the fact that it’s *SPOILER* the only nation confirmed to be uninfected in 28 Days Later), I will just hand that person this album. There’s heavy metal, there’s death metal, there’s Norwegian black metal, and then there’s this: Finnish folk metal. Yes, that does in fact mean accordions and violins played over double bass pedals and guitar riffs. Vocalist Jonne Järvelä sounds like Lemme Kilminster (Mötörhead) and Dave King (Flogging Molly) merged their voiced into one to combine the greatest drinking sing-along album ever. Err, if you can learn Finnish that is. Best tracks: Metsämies, Keep on Galloping, Northern Fall

The Melvins – Nude With Boots

That dog is in perfect punting position

That dog is in perfect punting position

It’s kind of pathetic that I’m a big grunge fan and pretty much missed these guys completely the first 20+ years of their existence. Regardless, this album simply rocks. It’s a fast-paced journey of metal, grunge, and stoner rock that should appease any fan of good music (so maybe not Pax readers and contributors). If only there wasn’t a hideous dog on the cover of the album. Best tracks: Nude With Boots, Smiling Cobra (this would be one of my entrance song candidates if I were a wrestler)

Teenage Bottlerocket – Warning Device

Now that's punk

Now that's punk

Remember Blink-182? As in Buddha-through-Enema of the State-era Blink. Well, this album marks a return to pure pop-punk that’s been missing since 1999. None of the electronica/emo/pussy-influenced garbage that Fall Out Boy has popularized in recent years. The longest track clocks in at 2:40, and if at least one of these songs can’t catch your attention, you must not be human. Fun, quick listen by brothers (the Carlisles) better than the ones in Chevelle or Kings of Leon. Get in touch with your 16-year old “punk” self. Best tracks: Gave You My Heart, In the Basement, Crawling Back to You

Cavalera Conspiracy – Inflikted

This should be considered modern art

This should be considered modern art

OK, while the Carlisles from Teenage Bottlerocket are cool, the reunited Cavaleras (Max and Igor) blow them out of the water. Separated since the breakup of Sepultura, the brothers are back and bring with them members of Soulfly and Gojira. They’ve also had members of Down, Machine Head, and Pantera contribute to the album or play live with them. And you thought Hellyeah was a metal supergroup. This isn’t as heavy as Sepultura or Soulfly and has more of a punk influence. Solid through and through. Best tracks: Bloodbrawl, Sanctuary, Inflikted

Children of Bodom – Blooddrunk

Out, out damned spot!

Out, out damned spot!

This album will rip your face off and spit it back out at you. And it’s not even really death metal. More like “melodic death metal crossed with power metal.” That’s what we’ll call it while their genre debate is settled. Anyway, this continues the dominance of my adopted homeland, as the band was even named after the (apparently) infamous Lake Bodom murders that took place in Finland. Another bonus of this album is that half the tracks could be the score to a horror movie. Think of the synth effects in Nightmare on Elm Street. Hell, even the album cover is reminiscent of Johnny Depp’s death scene. Best tracks: Hellhounds on My Trail, Blooddrunk, Banned From Heaven

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