Category Archives: scandinavia

Pax Scandinavia: “Oh we are so screwed! Er, maybe not” edition

Perry Ellis

I’m “working” from home today, which means I’m keeping an eye on a few RSS feeds on the off chance something comes through that’s important enough for me to stop browsing the Interwebs for the mildly titillating (titillating is a funny word).

So I was minding my own business, checking out Sarah Palin’s debate strategy, when this came in over the transom and caused me to spray jasmine tea all over the monitor:

Pax Joins Megger Group to Expand Transformer Test Product Line

For a second, I thought a bunch of Scandinavian dweebs wanted to buy our site and turn us into electrical engineering zombie slaves.

Turns out instead the Swedish nerdy types stole our brilliant, catchy name and slapped it on some type of technical-related doodad thingy:

“The Pax IDAX range of Dielectric Frequency Response Analyzers are designed for measuring moisture in power transformers as well as testing insulation material in various power system products. The IDAX300 represents the latest generation in the well-known IDA/IDAX range of instruments and represents a breakthrough in terms of weight-performance ratio. With its optimised design the test set is three times smaller and lighter and performs insulation characterisation twice as fast as its predecessor IDA200.”

So no threat from the zombies, but still, they ripped us off, right? Straight-up stole our groundbreaking moniker for their own dorky purposes.

Wait, what’s that you say? The Swedish brainiacs founded their Pax in 2004? We were up then, right?

No? Ah. I see.

Nothing to see here. Carry on.

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Filed under scandinavia, technology, Vikings, zombies

This day in history

Perry Ellis

On this day in history, the following notable events occurred:

In 1809, Mary Kies of South Killingly, Conn., became the first woman to be granted a patent. The patent was for the rights to a technique for weaving straw with silk and thread.

In 1821, Napoleon Bonaparte died on the island of St. Helena.

In 1864, American newspaper writer Nellie Bly was born.

In 1891, Carnegie Hall (then known as Music Hall) opened in New York City, with Peter Tchaikovsky as guest conductor.

In 1925, John Scopes was arrested in Tennessee for teaching Darwinism.

In 1961, Alan Shepard became the first American in space.

In 1981, Bobby Sands of the Irish Republican Army died in a prison hospital on the 66th day of his hunger strike.

In 2004, Pablo Picasso’s “Boy with a Pipe” became the most expensive painting ever sold.

And, of course, in 1976, a woman in New Jersey gave birth to a beautiful, blond, 17-pound Viking warrior destined to save the human race from the triple-threat scourges of zombies, bad food and silly ideas.

 
             I can has razor pleez?

Happy Birthday Paxman! We’ll be thinking of you tonight, as you sip mead from the skulls of your enemies, during our 2-hour infant CPR class.

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Filed under New Jersey, pax arcana, scandinavia, Vikings, zombies

Sharks bitey and killy this year

Perry Ellis

We’ve already exceeded last year’s sharkly death toll, according to The Associated Press (via Boston.com):

“An Austrian tourist died Monday after being bitten by a shark while diving near the Bahamas in waters that had been baited with bloody fish parts to attract the predators.

Markus Groh, 49, a Vienna lawyer and diving enthusiast, was on a commercial dive trip Sunday when he was bitten about 50 miles off the coast of Fort Lauderdale…”

Are the Flying Shark Vikings turning against us? Know fear.


Let’s just hope that was a zombie.

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Filed under scandinavia, sharks, Vikings, zombies

Attack of the Viking death spores

Perry Ellis 

Run for the hills! Those crazy Scandinavians are at it again, this time risking the infection of the rest of the world with runaway doomsday Viking spores that turn their victims into slavering, flying-Viking-zombie-killing-shark-killing Viking zombies.

Wait. Scratch that. I misread the headline. Turns out it’s just a big box in the Artic Circle for storing seeds. Or something. No Vikings. No spores. No doomsday. No zombies. No flying Viking sharks killing zombies.

 No fun.

But at least we have this monkey:

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Filed under environment, scandinavia, science, Vikings, zombies

Happy Columbus Day

Pax Arcana will be working today. Wake me up when we have a national Leif Ericson holiday.

Anyway, below is my homage to the famous wayward Italian navigator:

geronimoshirt.jpg

And here’s the story behind it:

Shirt Happens, After Columbus Day [Westword]

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Filed under history, scandinavia

The best waste of 1:26 today

This is the movie Fargo, stripped of all dialogue in which the actors aren’t saying “yeah.”

What’s funny to me is that the Norwegians I know do the same thing, only their word is “ja” and many of them of inhale while saying it in conversation. This unnerved my brother (Happy Birthday, by the way!) while we were living there because it seemed like the squareheads were surprised — literally breathless — at the most mundane things.

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Filed under movies, scandinavia, videos

Little Big Men

I’m a few days late on this, but Deadspin has a great Q&A with sportswriter Sally Jenkins, whose new book The Real All-Americans chronicles the story of the Carlisle Indian Industrial School football team.

The school, which was created to educate displaced Native American children, played a crucial but unheralded role in the development of modern football. From Deadspin:

(N)ot only did it produce Jim Thorpe, it also is where Pop Warner started out and clearly had the most fun. (It’s also where the forward pass was really invented.)

jimthorpe.jpg
Jim Thorpe

The invention of the forward pass, by the way, is usually credited to Scandinavian-American hero Knute Rockne (pronounce both Ks), the legendary Notre Dame coach. Jenkins sets the record straight, as Rockne tried and failed, in her book:

“They absolutely invented the pass — and refined it, too. I found old game accounts from 1906 and 1907 when they were throwing 40 yards downfield, 16 and 18 times a game. Notre Dame and Rockne didn’t even think about the pass until 1913.

Rockne always tried to correct the record, by the way. He insisted to anyone who asked that Pop Warner and the Carlisle Indians were the first to use the pass on a major stage. It was sportswriters who muddled the picture because they didn’t want to give the Indians credit for anything. A fair amount of bigotry was at work.”

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Filed under books, scandinavia, sports

Pax Arcana keeps you safe from anti-Scandinavian racism

The wiry and squinty-eyed editors at Lucy the Blog have posted a 2 minute video of vicious anti-squarehead propaganda. Some would call it hilarious, but those people risk getting their asses impaled on a rusty pike if in the company of tall, blond, lethargic-seeming people. At Pax Arcana, we urge you to not click this link. It’s dangerous and will fill you with ideas about the world’s leading producers of pickled herring in dill cream sauce. Or in the case of Iceland, fermented shark meat.

We implore you instead to feast your eyes on this adorable and slightly edgy poster of a rabbit stealing a cookie.

cookie-bunny.jpeg

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Filed under scandinavia, videos