This post is irritating

Pax Arcana

I personally believe — at this moment in time — that you shouldn’t of come to Pax Arcana to read this post. It’s fairly unique, but it’s not rocket science. At the end of the day, we strive for 24/7 hilarity and curiosity-piquing content. But sometimes it’s a nightmare. With all due respect, this post will only annoy you. Am I broken up about that? Absolutely.

According to researchers at Oxford University, the above paragraph should be just about the most annoying thing ever committed to cyber-paper. That’s because I used every one of the “Top Ten Most Irritating Expressions in the English Language.”

Here it is with the irritations bolded and marked by their rank on the list:

I personally (3) believe — at this moment in time (4) — that you shouldn’t of (8) come to Pax Arcana to read this post. It’s fairly unique (2), but it’s not rocket science (10). At the end of the day (1), we strive for 24/7 (9) hilarity and curiosity-piquing content. But sometimes it’s a nightmare (7). With all due respect (5), this post will only annoy you. Am I broken up about that? Absolutely (6).

Of course the Oxford list is more British than American, and British people are irritated by funny things. Like Americans. And orthodonture. And when you slap them and say “USA! USA!” Such sensitive bastards.

Anyway, I would add the following terms to the list were it up to me:

Thrown under the bus
Utilize
Individuals
I could care less
Going forward

And for the love of all that is good and righteous in this world, please stop saying:

Fierce

I’m sure my massive readership will have some thoughts on the matter…

Oxford Researchers List Top 10 Most Annoying Phrases [Wired]

Hey you! I no like-a you language

Pax Arcana

As if fomenting shitstorms of hatred in some of the world’s most dangerous places weren’t enough to make the Euros hate us, it looks like our words are creeping into their languages.

First the French revolted against the increased use of English-ish phrases like “le weekend.” Now the Italians have thrown down their meatballs in disgust over the use of words like “welfare,” “briefing,” and the ubiquitous “OK.”

The result is the predictably insane effort to reverse the course of linguistic globalization. Leading the charge is the Dante Alighieri Society:

Over the last four months the society, named after the Florentine poet Dante, author of The Divine Comedy and regarded as the father of the Italian language, asked visitors to its website to nominate their least favourite Anglicisms.

The results judge the ugliest imports to be ‘weekend’, ‘welfare’ and ‘OK’, followed by ‘briefing’, ‘mission’, ‘know how’, ‘shampoo’ and ‘cool’.

The worlds of business and politics contribute many of the alien words, from ‘question time’ to ‘premier’ and ‘bipartisan’.

Other English words regularly used by Italians which escaped the ire of the society’s correspondents include ‘sexy’, ‘webmaster’ and ‘water’, short for water closet or lavatory.

“Italians unite against il weekend”, the society declared on its website. “In short, it is clear that Italians are calling for more respect and more protection for correct language.”

Obviously the Dante Alighieri Society is acting childish here. Here is my response: Beatrice Portinari was uglier than bucket of baccala.

Also, gnocchi is a way uglier word than shampoo.

Jerk-offs.

Italians vote for ugliest English words [Telegraph]