Like the great heroes of my ancestry who forded across the Atlantic on the strength of sheer determination and perseverence — and who established this family as one of America’s elite in the smoke-filled rooms of the stock exchange and the import/export chancellory — I find myself quite put-upon by my social inferiors and their representatives in the so-called government.
First my effort to supply both major political parties with a viable and wealth-friendly candidate was rebuffed (my son, Thatcher, is adequately suited to manage a hedge fund but not steer the ship of state? Rebuke!). Now, a group of vexatious do-gooders in the federal government have the temerity to question the validity of my farm subsidies!!
The nerve of these people!
An individual or farm entity was ineligible if average adjusted gross income exceeded $2.5 million over three years — unless 75 percent or more of that income came from farming, ranching and forestry.
According to the report, the 2,702 recipients exceeded the $2.5 million and got less than 75 percent of their income from these activities. The payments to them totaled more than $49 million.
“USDA has relied principally on individuals’ one-time self-certifications that they do not exceed income eligibility caps, and their commitment that they will notify USDA of any changes that cause them to exceed these caps,” the GAO said.
And I am not the only one suffering from such degradatious scrutiny. Many of my golfing partners, and half my wife’s charity board of directors, are suffering similar insults!
— A founder and former executive of an insurance company received more than $300,000 in farm program payments in 2003, 2004, 2005, and 2006 that should have been subject to the income limits.
— An individual with ownership interest in a professional sports franchise received more than $200,000 for those same years that should have been barred by the income limits.
— A person residing in a country outside of the United States received more than $80,000 for 2003, 2005, and 2006 on the basis of the individual’s ownership interest in two farming entities.
— A top executive of a major financial services firm received more than $60,000 in farm program payments in 2003.
— A former executive of a technology company received about $20,000 in years 2003, 2004, 2005, and 2006 that were covered by the income limits. This individual also received more than $900,000 in farm program payments that were not subject to those limitations.
This outrage cannot stand. I assure you that the nosy pecksniffs who concocted this slanderous investigation will get what is coming to them, post-haste. My team of lawyers has been informed of my desire to seek a swift retribution, and I shall presently be filing all the necessary paperwork to ensure that happens.
Just as soon as I am finished tilling these fields and plowing the chicken coops, naturally.
Millionaires get farm payments; nobody checking [Boston.com]