Tag Archives: Father Scott

Well look at this freaking tiny deer

Father Scott

My dad is the only person in America who still sends chain emails. (I think they probably still do it in China, because Web sites aren’t allowed.) Anyway, I usually ignore them because I’m terrified that they will be horribly inappropriate and cause our company’s Web people to come up and light my computer on fire. But one today was pretty interesting.

I don’t have a link to share (because, again, it’s a CHAIN EMAIL), but the photographic credit apparently goes to Jeff Moore. Check this freaking oddity out. Women, be prepared: it’s an adorable tiny animal.

This tiny deer was delivered by Caesarean section at a wildlife hospital after a car killed his mother.

Little Rupert, who is so small he can fit in an adult’s hand, was born after vets failed in their battle to save his mother.

At just six inches tall and weighing just over a pound, he is now in an incubator in the intensive care unit at Tiggywinkles
Wildlife Hospital in Buckinghamshire.  He has only recently opened his eyes.
Les Stocker, founder of Tiggywinkles, said, “Rupert’s mother had very severe injuries.  We brought him out and got him breathing, and then he went into an incubator on oxygen.  He is now being fed by a tube.”


Tucked up:  Rupert in an incubator.


Rupert pulls a striking pose for the camera..


Staff members are optimistic that Rupert, now five days old, will make a full recovery.

“Deer are very, very tricky, but this one has spirit..  He’s an extremely feisty little guy and quite pushy,” Mr. Stocker said.


Asleep:  Rupert takes 40 winks.

Now, how can I figure out how to get this into Pax and Mrs. Pax’s new pad? And would it be more or less creepy than this?


Filed under Uncategorized

Things I did over Patriots Day weekend

Father Scott

The Padre has been noticeably absent in these parts for a while, and here’s why.

For one thing, when I started writing here I focused mostly on music, and I only get music from a couple of sources, so it makes that writing get kind of old. Do you care if I’m on a Pearl Jam kick right now? Probably not. I don’t have anything to introduce you to that you can’t get from RSS feeds to Stereogum and Paste, and frankly I don’t care about music the way I used to, so whatever.

Another reason is Twitter. Not that I’ve been on it much (though you can find me there if you really want), but in my research about it (for work) and my discussions with Pax about it, I’ve gotten depressed. It’s made me rethink this whole web presence thing. Not to be a Fallen Angel-like nonconformist, but everything online eventually becomes marketing-driven, and it gets kind of depressing. The idea of being in touch with celebrities or public personalities that you really like it cool. I was probably too excited to receive a Tweet from Tas Melas of The Basketball Jones last week, for example. But for the most part it’s companies pushing their products on people and expanding their “web presence.” It’s exhausting to try to keep up with. I don’t mean to sound like that old hag from the NY Times that Pax hates, but there’s not a lot of soul to it, it seems.

Then this morning in our group meeting, someone asked me if I fished this weekend (which I did, and will talk about in a bit), and I was briefly bummed to answer the question, because I had planned on writing about it here, and I felt like that spoiled it. The fact that that bummed me out…bums me out. How ridiculous that telling people about my weekend was disappointing because it in some way spoiled a post I might write on a friend’s blog that’s read by people either of us knows and a few people who stumble upon it while Googling for zombie pictures.

I also always thought that personal blogging is kind of stupid. Do any of you care what I did this weekend? Do I have anything to say about it that is worth reading? Not sure. But I am sure that my attempts at doing Pax-like posts come up short, namely because I’m not as funny as he is (in print anyway; I joke circles around him in person) and I’m also not as good of a writer.

The whole thing is kind of depressing. Maybe this is all a waste of time. But fuck that, I’m going old-school and just writing about myself anyway. I’m gonna express myself all up in this bitch. Besides, how else would Perry Ellis keep up with me?

Anyway, here’s 1000 words about fishing and Fenway.

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Filed under Uncategorized

Recession beards don’t make sense

Pax Arcana

beardAdvertising Age says the latest recession-trend — just behind “ass-scratching” and “giving up hope” — is “growing a beard.”

No, seriously. That’s what they say:

Hence the “recession beard,” a theory propounded by Philips’ Norelco and its recently retained brand spokesman, Esquire grooming editor and New York salon owner Rodney Cutler. Mr. Cutler said he believes more men are letting it all grow out as an act of “playful rebellion,” a sign of defiance and of not being a “corporate slave.”

First of all, there’s no such thing as a rebellion against not having a job. That’s like growing a beard to protest not having an adult-sized wiener. Hey, did you guys know Father Scott has a beard? And a job?

A Lipstick Index for Men? [Ad Age]


Filed under journalism

And that’s the last time we took Father Scott to the beach

Pax Arcana

Via Fail Blog

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Filed under videos

All quiet on the Pax Arcana front

Father Scott

Pax is out sick today, so don’t expect much from us unless Perry writes out a 12 billion word screed about the facial hair of the bassist of The Hold Steady.

If you’re curious, Pax is out with a case of chronic goofyface, which he picked up at this weekend’s flag football game.


I, on the other hand, step up in the face of adversity.


Please. Like women diving at my crotch is anything new for me.


Filed under pax arcana

Old tortoise is banging, happy

Pax Arcana

With apologies to Father Scott, Betty White isn’t the only prehistoric creature itchin’ to get some loving.

On the island of St. Helena, a sea tortoise named Jonathan is cruising around and eating grass and doing tons of chicks. By chicks, of course, I mean other sea tortoises.

Oh, also, people just found a picture of Jonathan dating back to 1900. Doing the math for you, that means Jonathan the sea tortoise 176 years old.

Or, as I like to say, Jonathan the sea tortoise is 176 fucking years old:


The previous oldest tortoise was widely thought to be Harriet, a giant Galapagos Land tortoise, who died in 2005 aged 175 in Australia.

Despite his old age, locals say he still has the energy to regularly mate with the three younger females.

Pretty awesome, obviously. But there’s a deeper issue here. Jonathan first arrived at St. Helena (as a gift from the Seychelles) in 1882, just after he reached maturity. That means Jonathan’s sex drive was formed in the Victorian age, when the lady tortoises wore their shells down to their knees and a tuppence bought you a laugh and a pint. I wonder how someone adjusts to the multitude of societal upheavals like that. I also wonder why cold water isn’t thicker than warm water. I mean, it’s that much closer to ice, right?

World’s oldest living animal discovered after he is pictured in 1900 photograph [Telegraph UK]


Filed under history

Is Father Scott the next great sports blogger?

Father Scott

Doubtful, but WEEI.com (which has been revamped and is actually pretty great now) held a contest this month in which they were searching for “the next great sports blogger.” They’re looking for someone to write once a week (so is it really a blog, then?), and since they’re offering $5,000 to do it, I figured it was worth throwing something out there.

I sort of went old-school with it and wrote a limited (approx. 500-word entry requirement) old-fashioned newspaper column, rather than a ZOMG Julio lugo sucksszszzz blog post, of which I figured EEI would receive roughly 18 billion (and they did — check out some of the samples they have listed on the contest page). But it was worth the hour I spent doing it. It’s about Coco Crisp and Theo Epstein and probably isn’t focused enough to be effective for what I was going for. But I’ve posted it here after the jump, simply because if I bothered to write it, I may as well help pad Pax’s blogging efforts by posting it here. They announce finalists October 13; I’ll let you know if there’s any news to report.

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Filed under media, sports

The grand Father Scott football preview

Father Scott

Your favorite local Padre, Fallen Angel, and the Paxman himself are in a fantasy football league at our lovely office. FA and Pax dueled it out in last year’s championship with Senor Arcana taking the crown, and FA getting hauled away in cuffs to share a cell with Cedric Benson.

This is my only reason for excitement for the coming NFL season. I’m just not a huge football fan. I’m in a pool, play flag football (as Perry showed you yesterday), and attempt to dominate our fantasy league, but for some reason it doesn’t grab me most years.

However, one thing I do is try to talk myself into the NFL every year, so my excitement level at week 1 is high. And thus, I have thoughts on what will happen this year. After the jump, Padre’s predications (only for posterity — you can find analysis and stats in a hundred other places) for the NFL and fantasy seasons.

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Filed under sports

Laced Padre of the Miserable Army

Father Scott

I took a couple of minutes away from Lil’ Wayne’s latest joint (bitch, it’s the bomb like tick, tick) to read an All Songs Considered blogpost about a website devoted to spitting out a band name for people not creative enough to do so themselves (then why are you creating music, you might ask, and I would not be able to answer you).

The website is called Band Name Maker, and it’s simple to operate. Type in a word and it cranks out ten random band names. Don’t like them? Generate again.

After the jump, my favorites for each of the members of this site:

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Filed under music

Follow Father Scott in all his glory

Father Scott

No, I’m not talking about watching me roast Pax Arcana’s proverbial ass on the flag football field. I’m talking about me in my ideal setting, my true calling: as an NBA GM.

Stupid Sideline Reporters has set up an interactive mock draft of the upcoming NBA draft and has sought various bloggers to join the effort. Unlike various high-profile mock drafts or cross-blog activities promoted by major sites like TrueHoop, there appear to be no qualifications, hence me having two teams. I get to decide the futures of Miami (no. 2) and Portland (no. 13), and anticipate being extremely active in the (fake) trade market.

If you’re interested, he’s still trying to fill spots, so go sign up. All you need is an ArmchairGM account and a bucket of dreams.


Filed under sports