It’s well-documented that Americans are the corpulentest bastards on the planet, each of us requiring a small army of Malaysian porters to tote our belongings as we wheeze our way back to the buffet line at Sizzler.
Many blame our sedentary lifestyle. We drive everywhere, we hate the outdoors, and who has time for exercise when there’s so much intrigue on CSI: Miami tonight?
That’s why I’m buying all my furniture from Ferran Lajara from this point forward. According to his Web site, Lajara’s furniture designs are aimed at creating a unidirectional relationship between the object the objectionable indirect object subject predicate. Actually I got lost in the description. Here — you try:
Active furniture is a collection of three objects which try to keep users physically active by creating new relationships object-user-user-object. These new relationships are not unidirectional anymore – relationships in which users are the ones who demand from the object and the object obeys. The pieces of furniture in this collection do anything but facilitate what users want. They force users to perform a physical action in order to make them function. These actions keep users active.
The bottom line is that Lajara’s furniture makes you work. Like the lamp pictured above, which only lights up when standing up straight but doesn’t come with a base — so you have to hold it up yourself. Or a desk with drawers on the wrong side to make you stand up every time you need a paper clip.
Frankly I think it’s a good thing when your furniture challenges you. Like that time the ottoman wanted to arm wrestle me for my Red Sox tickets. “You don’t even have any arms, you fucking retarded ottoman!” I yelled at him. Then I realized I never had Red Sox tickets and I was high on Schnapps and Hydrocodone.
You win this round, ottoman.
Naomi — Neutral Milk Hotel
Was it You? — Spoon
Reservations — Spoon
My Family’s Role in the World Revolution — Beirut
Your Big Hands — Jolie Holland
Lenin — Arcade Fire
No Christmas While I’m Talking — The Walkmen
No, Not Now — Hot Hot Heat
You Really Got a Hold on Me — She & Him
The Heartbreak Rides — AC Newman
Mexican Wine (Live) — Fountains of Wayne
The Rules: The Friday Random 10 is exactly that — random. We open up our iTunes, set the thing on shuffle, and listen to 10 songs. We are not permitted to skip any out of embarrassment or fear of redundancy. Commenters are encouraged to post their own.