The story of Adolph Hitler’s final demise is well-known among the educated elite with whom I lunch and occasionally sup. First he yelled about getting banned from Wikipedia, then he took a cyanide pill and popped a cap through his dome-piece just before the Soviet Army cracked its way into his bunker in Berlin.
The Russians then tossed his body in a pit and burned it. Then buried it. Then unburied it. Then buried it again. Then dug it up again. Then cremated it.
At some point during the burying and unburying, the Russians came across a piece of a skull with a bullet hole in it that seemed to corroborate the facts. At least until recently, when a team of American researchers determined that the skull belonged not to Hitler, but to…
… a woman under 40!!
According to witnesses, the bodies of Hitler and Braun had been wrapped in blankets and carried to the garden just outside the Berlin bunker, placed in a bomb crater, doused with petrol and set ablaze.
But the skull fragment the Russians dug up outside the Führerbunker in 1946 could never have belonged to Hitler. The skull DNA was incontestably female. The only positive physical proof that Hitler had shot himself had suddenly been rendered worthless. The result is a mystery reopened and, for conspiracy theorists the tantalising possibility that Hitler did not die in the bunker.
Once again the mainstream media denigrates people like me as “conspiracy theorists” just for asking the hard questions. Is there a possibility, given this evidence, that Hitler escaped his bunker and fled Germany before the fall of the Reich? Can anyone positively SAY they didn’t see him board a spacecraft in 1962 with Lyndon Johnson and Queen Elizabeth? Is there any way to RULE OUT the possibility that Hitler had a sex change and was artificially inseminated with a Kenyan muslim baby who would then TAKE OVER America? ARE FLUORESCENT LIGHT BULBS REAL OR IS THE GOBBERMENT LISSNING TO EVERY WORRD??????????