Tag Archives: lawyers

Apple has the ballsiest lawyers in the world

Pax Arcana

iphoneMy love of the iPhone has been well documented on this site, and has only grown since the invention of the iPhonesaber and the espresso maker application (Note — not a real application in any way, shape or form).

I believe the iPod and iPhone are devices of revolutionary impact on the gadgeting public. But what truly sets Apple apart, in my opinion, is the company’s gargantuan brushed metal testicles.

Consider the following argument, delivered in court to defend Apple against charges that it misled customers with TV advertisements that claimed the new 3G iPhone was “twice as fast for half the price” when compared to the original version:

“Plaintiff’s claims, and those of the purported class, are barred by the fact that the alleged deceptive statements were such that no reasonable person in Plaintiff’s position could have reasonably relied on or misunderstood Apple’s statements as claims of fact.”

In other words, no one in their right mind would believe that just because we say the device is “twice as fast for half the price,” we actually meant it was twice as fast for half the price. I mean, that’s just crazy!

Apple: Our Ads Don’t Lie, But You’re a Fool if You Believe Them [Wired]

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Major League Baseball owns everything

Pax Arcana

Last week I pointed out the dorky awesomeness of the iPhone Baseball application, which loaded every single statistic in the history of professional baseball into my phone faster than the Millennium Falcon made the Kessel Run (want to know how Cincinnati Killers pitcher Wild Bill Widner got his nickname? Probably because he walked four batters and hit two more in his only professional appearance in 1891).

This morning word came that the sun had indeed risen again, the tides came in and went out on schedule, and and Major League Baseball (MLB) is acting like it owns everything even remotely related to baseball. Now they’re threatening to sue the guy who made the Baseball application for trademark infringement.

From PC World:

On Monday Michigan’s Mark Knopper, owner and sole employee of Bulbous Ventures, received an email from MLB Advanced Media demanding that he remove baseball team logos from his program along with a nearly imperceptible MLB logo used on the application program shortcut. MLB Advanced Media also expressed concern people might wrongfully assume his program was an official MLB iPhone App. MLB also made available its own iPhone app on last week, MLB.com At Bat ($5).

“All of a sudden this labor of love of mine became more labor than love,” Knopper says. The avid Detroit Tiger fan says he will comply, but admits disappointment. Knopper, a self-employed Mac programmer, created the Baseball iPhone App for pure amusement and thought it would “cool to just give the program away for free to other baseball fans” like him, he says.

Listen buddy — baseball isn’t for “fans.” Baseball is for sponsorships, tie-ins with film and television studios, and the protection of the brand vis a vis statistics and logos. Letting so-called “fans” feel a sense of ownership over their favorite teams or statistical metrics just introduces unwanted irritants into the sweet, sweet honeypot of America’s past time (trademark pending).

By the way the Mets have won 11 of their last 13 and are tied for first.

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

Send all cease and desist letters to:
Pax Arcana
1313 Your Mama’s House
Metsville, USA

iPhone App Maker Gets Hit With Major League Cease and Desist [PC World]

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