Tag Archives: random 10

Friday Random 10: Tough Guy Edition

Most people who jog for exercise are carrot-munching weenies, but not Craig O’Brien.

tough guyO’Brien is a tough guy. A throwback to a better time — a time when black people knew better than to be president and joggers were free to scream obscenities at whomever the fuck they pleased. Bitch.

So when O’Brien was banned by a judge from jogging in Portsmouth, N.H., he did what any red-blooded awesome white patriot would do — he accepted the ban in court, then fucking yelled at the top of his goddamn lungs at any motherfucker who looked at him sideways. While jogging. In Portsmouth:

Police allege that on May 15 O’Brien yelled at someone driving on Junkins Avenue — the road leading to City Hall and the police station — and was issued a violation-level summons.

Another pending summons alleges O’Brien was disorderly on South Street by yelling profanities and continuing to do so after being asked to stop by Officer Andre Wassouf on May 23. On the same day, O’Brien is also alleged to have used “derisive or offensive words which were likely to provoke a violent reaction on the part of an ordinary person, to which he called (the alleged victim) a sissy.”

So now he’s in jail for violating bail conditions. I wouldn’t worry about him, though. Tough guys like Craig O’Brien do well in prison. I expect he will walk up to the biggest motherfucker in there and call him a butt-fucking motherfucking sissy ass bitch right to his face. He’ll be fine.

The songs:

Saturday Nite — Blitzen Trapper
Caroline, No — Beach House
About a Girl — Nirvana
The Gulag Orkestar — Beirut
Clementine — Elliott Smith
You’ve Got a Killer Scene There, Man — Queens of the Stone Age
D.A.N.C.E. — Justice VS Data
No Life Singed Her — Pavement
Return to Hot Chicken — Yo La Tengo
There’s No Home for you Here — The White Stripes

Bonus video:

It’s Thunder and It’s Lightning — We Were Promised Jetpacks

The Rules: The Friday Random 10 is exactly that — random. We open up our iTunes, set the thing on shuffle, and listen to 10 songs. We are not permitted to skip any out of embarrassment or fear of redundancy. Commenters are encouraged to post their own.


Filed under music

Friday Random 10: Big Macs are labor intensive edition

The Economist just posted an interesting graphic showing the average number of minutes people in various places must work in order to afford a Big Mac. At the low end, people from Chicago only have to work about 12 minutes for a tasty double-meat sangwich. If you work in Nairobi, on the other hand, you’d have to work almost three hours.

This explains why so many Chicagoans are paid in Big Macs — employers are just eliminating unnecessary red tape.


Also interesting is that people in Budapest have to work about an hour to afford a Big Mac. I thought Buddhists didn’t eat meat.

The songs:

Hare Krsna — Husker Du
Eagle on a Pole — Connor Oberst and the Mystic Valley Band
Crazy Eights — Tapes N Tapes
Twilight Galaxy — Metric
Black Math — The White Stripes
The Medicinal Mind — Faces on Film
Under My Thumb — The Rolling Stones
The Pilgrim — Oxford Collapse
Like a Hitman Like a Dancer — A.C. Newman
Joe #1 — Fugazi

Bonus Video:

The Jimmy Carter UFO Sighting — Shouting and Pointing (starring Coach Football as a sweaty person)

The Rules: The Friday Random 10 is exactly that — random. We open up our iTunes, set the thing on shuffle, and listen to 10 songs. We are not permitted to skip any out of embarrassment or fear of redundancy. Commenters are encouraged to post their own.


Filed under music

Friday Random 10: Agency Edition

Pax Arcana

ghostsDuring a baseball game my senior year in high school, I made peanut butter on the bench by crushing up a bunch of peanuts under the head of my bat. Later in the game I hit a home run off a particularly renowned pitcher. Every game for the rest of the season I made bat head peanut butter during the first inning — convinced that the activity was somehow the cause of my success.

Turns out I was just good at baseball. [*flexes remnants of once-proud bicep]

At least according to an article in Scientific American, which says that basically all religious or supernatural beliefs are the product of two things working in concert:

1. Our brains evolved to spot patterns. This helped early man both catch food and avoid becoming food, but now confuses us because we’re more likely to spot patterns that aren’t there than the reverse.

2. We have a special gift for assigning agency to these patterns. Because we are uniquely aware of our own feelings and doings — and the feelings and doings of others — we assume that all patterns are caused by an agent of sorts that is enacting the patterns on purpose.

So we make bat head peanut butter to satisfy the gods. Or Obama, depending on what you’re hoping for:

Agenticity carries us far beyond the spirit world. The Intelligent Designer is said to be an invisible agent who created life from the top down. Aliens are often portrayed as powerful beings coming down from on high to warn us of our impending self-destruction. Conspiracy theories predictably include hidden agents at work behind the scenes, puppet masters pulling political and economic strings as we dance to the tune of the Bilderbergers, the Roth­schilds, the Rockefellers or the Illuminati. Even the belief that government can impose top-down measures to rescue the economy is a form of agenticity, with President Barack Obama being touted as “the one” with almost messianic powers who will save us.

Does this mean praying to Oprah won’t make my — I mean this friend of mine’s — back less hairy?

The songs:

Finally Found a Home — Oh No! Oh My!
Blossom — Ryan Adams and the Cardinals
Maybe Not — Cat Power
Girl You Have No Faith in Medicine — The White Stripes
Answering Bell — Ryan Adams
Signed, Sealed, Delivered, I’m Yours — Stevie Wonder
I Could Have Lied — The Red Hot Chilipeppers
The Ghost of You Lingers — Spoon
Sugar on my Tongue — Talking Heads
Single File — Elliott Smith

Bonus video:

Scenario — Tribe Called Quest (Live on Arsenio, 1992)

The Rules: The Friday Random 10 is exactly that — random. We open up our iTunes, set the thing on shuffle, and listen to 10 songs. We are not permitted to skip any out of embarrassment or fear of redundancy. Commenters are encouraged to post their own.


  • So are you a homeowner now or what? And when’s the moving date so I can make plans for that weekend?

    Hot Tamale Baby, Buckwheat Zydeco
    Bitch, The Rolling Stones
    Where I End And You Begin (The Sky Is Falling In), Radiohead
    Moonglow, Django Reinhardt
    Troy, Sinéad O’Connor
    I Feel It All, Feist
    Fun World, Mission of Burma
    Mutherfuker, Beck
    Good Advices, R.E.M.
    Go it Alone, Beck

  • You know what I don’t understand? How is it that Teixeira always looks so constipated?

  • Mortgage commitment is supposed to come through today. Then I will start relaxing. Except that mortgage rates are jumping like a bitch right now. We had a chance to lock at 5.15% two weeks ago and our guy told us not to, because they would probably go down in June. D’OH!

    Assuming the bank makes a horrible mistake and gives us the loan, we should take possession on June 25. We’re in California the week after that, then we’ll probably move throughout the month of July. We may be douchebags and request the help of able-bodied men for one morning of heavy-lifting, or we may just hire movers.

  • 1. Mark Olson & Gary Louris – Kick The Wood
    2. Jimi Hendrix – Machine Gun
    3. Rage Against the Machine – Roll Right
    4. Otis Webster – Boll Weevil Blues
    5. David Bowie – Life on Mars
    6. Paul McCartney – Bluebird
    7. Sparklehorse – Revenge (feat. Wayne Coyne)
    8. Band of Horses – Is There A Ghost
    9. Aretha Franklin – A Brand New Me
    10. Swan Silvertones – A Brighter Day Ahead

  • Or you could do what we did: Be douchebags and put out the call for able-bodied men.

  • Make that “Be douchebags and hire movers.” We did both.

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Filed under music

Friday Random 10: My Own Personal Hell Edition

Pax Arcana

hellThe subject of this week’s random 10 is appropriate, since my absence from posting lately is the direct result of one of the key indicators that I am, at the workplace anyway, inside of my own personal hell right now. It’s like I can never make enough chocolate mousse to satisfy all these gorgeous women!

Anyway, Paste writer Steve LaBate has posted a list of the seven songs that would be playing in his own personal hell. While only one of his would also be on my list, it’s safe to say I can see where he’s coming from. Here are mine. Commenters are welcome to blah blah blah you’re going to do it anyway, aren’t you?

1. Bittersweet Symphony — The Verve

It’s not that they stole the music from the Rolling Stones. It’s that this song is so obnoxiously repetitive, whiny, and boring I would rather stuff bowling balls in my nostrils than hear it one more time.

2. Semi-Charmed Life — Third Eye Blind

I’m tempted to toss the entire fetid Third Eye Blind oeuvre in a tie for second, but this… this is the song that made me want to burn down the entire earth.

3. Smooth — Santana and the fat guy from Matchbox 20

As if everything about Matchbox 20 wasn’t already annoying enough, this retarded homunculus had to stick his fat face on every TV in the universe from roughly 1999 to 2004 with this awful, awful song.

4. Hero — Enrique Iglesias

I swear to God if I ever see him in the street I will tear that mole off and stuff it down his throat.

5. Fields of Gold — Sting

Really, this list could be all Sting songs — but I chose this one because it is the best example of Gordon Sumner’s unparalleled ability to create lyrics and music that are at the same time pretentious and complete fucking bullshit. Witness:

“So she took her love/For to gaze awhile/Upon the fields of barley/In his arms she fell as her hair came down/Among the fields of gold.”


6. My Sacrifice — Creed

No, you’re not Jesus.

7. My Humps — Black Eyed Peas

Because it has hastened the apocalypse. I can’t prove that, but you know I’m right.

Now let’s cleanse that palate.

The songs:

Knotty Pine — Dirty Projectors + David Byrne
Deer Crossing — Elk City
The Great Skua — British Sea Power
Famous Last Words — Faces on Film
Springer Show — The Asskickers
Damn, Sam — Ryan Adams
Gouge Away — The Pixies
Reckoner — Radiohead
Remember When (Side A) — The Black Keys
Against Pollution — The Mountain Goats

Bonus video:

You’re Only Lonely — Micah P. Hinson (LIVE at SXSW 2009)

The Rules: The Friday Random 10 is exactly that — random. We open up our iTunes, set the thing on shuffle, and listen to 10 songs. We are not permitted to skip any out of embarrassment or fear of redundancy. Commenters are encouraged to post their own.


Filed under music