Tag Archives: Super Bowl

Who’s not the boss?


Pax Arcana

On occasion, I like to poke fun at Slate for being an endlessly flowing fountain of sweaty contrarianism and pathetic weenieism. But I also like to give credit where it is due.

But mostly I like to shit on Slate for retardery like this overflowing crock pot of unicorn AIDS.

To sum it up, Bruce Springsteen “fan” Stephen Metcalf laments last night’s Super Bowl halftime show because the Boss decided against bringing the entire fucking country back to the reality that a bunch of Wall Street fuckfaces blew our 401(k)’s on houses in Sun Valley and $87,000 rugs:

The national mood is sober bordering on a galloping panic. Lively as he was, I wouldn’t say the Boss did much to either banish or capture it.


There is a lot to be shat upon in this article, but at its core Metcalf’s entire argument boils down to the same irritating trope that insecure music assholes of every genre and generation employ — that the music was better before all you losers found out about it. Then he goes into postmodernism and just BEGS you to punch him in the face:

Springsteen concerts, when I first attended, were Atlantic Coast joy fests for a small community of like-minded fans. To discover that many other people share a taste for something oddball is a source of true shelter from the agglomerating powers of the mass. A Postmodernist would scoff and say nothing has changed, that Springsteen was always only merchandise. True, but in every possible way, Springsteen holds himself out as a force against such Postmodernist sophistication—on behalf of meaning, sincerity, and authenticity! As media outlets reported, the field seats for the halftime show were filled with paid extras, a crowd of “excited fans,” as the cattle call put it, to be seen dancing and clapping by the real audience, the 90 million sitting at home. I’m glad that my oddball favorite from middle school has become a zillionaire and a living legend. But watching him play the Super Bowl, I couldn’t help saying back to my flat screen, “Is there anyone alive in there?”

I don’t know exactly how old Stephen Metcalf is, but I wonder if he was in middle school sewing his “oddball” oats when this Time Magazine cover (1975) dubbed Bruce Springsteen “Rock’s New Sensation.” Because man, nothing says “small community of like-minded fans” like finding your new favorite on the cover of America’s best-known news weekly.


We should also note that the short bio of Metcalf at the bottom of the Slate article says Metcalf “is working on a book about the 1980s.” He’s used the same bio at least since 2001, as evidenced by this piece about Matt Damon and Ben Affleck.

Hurry up and finish that book already, Stephen! I bet it’s going to be fucking awesome!

He Should Have Played “The Wrestler” [Slate]

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Hows about some Springsteen nuts in your mouth?

Pax Arcana


Easily the highlight of the Super Bowl.


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Every game needs a hero

Pax Arcana

A note to our friends: please do not play the below video if you are still smarting from the Giants victory over the Patriots in the Super Bowl. It’s a Gatorade commercial. It features Eli Manning. And it’s awesome.


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Pax Gastronomica: Super Bowl Cupcakes

Pax Arcana


Behold the majesty that is the pan full of Super Bowl cupcakes, which has become something of a tradition within the extended Pax familias. The recipe is simple:

1. Make cupcakes
2. Decorate them with the logos of both Super Bowl teams

Pax Arcana watched the game in a room full of Pats fans last night, who tried to gain momentum for their squad by eating the Giants themed treats. But like Eli Manning escaping a sack, I was able to turn the tide back in the Giants favor by cramming four Pats themed cakes in my mouth at once. It took about 20 minutes to swallow, my tummy ached for the rest of the night, but I’d say it was worth it.

Right, David?



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Super Follow-Up

Pax Arcana

A few scattered thoughts to follow up:

  • Mercury Morris can choke on it. He says the Patriots aren’t in his house yet. I think most would agree that the 2007 Patriots would not only move into the 1972 Dolphins’ house, but would also eat everything out of the fridge, clog the toilet, break the remote, and lock the dog in the basement.
  • Emmit Smith just said the Pats lost because “the strength of the Patriots just got debacled.”
  • I apologize in advance for the ridiculous comparisons to Aaron Boone’s home run that are sure to emanate from the major sports media machine.

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Joe Andruzzi fighting cancer

Pax Arcana

Here’s something Giants fans and Pats fans can wish for together: A speedy recovery for former Patriot Joe Andruzzi, a native New Yorker with three brothers in the New York Fire Department.


SI’s Tim Layden reports that Andruzzi has an aggressive type of lymphoma that moves so quickly it can double in mass in just 24 hours. Andruzzi recently finished treatment for the cancer and is just hoping for the best:

He spent nearly the entire summer as an inpatient at Brigham and Women’s Hospital in Boston. The chemo took his hair, his weight (he lost more than 40 pounds) and his energy. He was known as one of the toughest people in the Patriots’ locker room, making the NFL as an undrafted free agent from Division II Southern Connecticut State and enduring multiple surgeries in addition to the relentless physical work performed by offensive linemen. Yet now he says, “I went to 10 training camps in the NFL. I’d rather go to any training camp than what I went through last summer.”

He’ll be at the Super Bowl.

Fight of his life [SI]

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At least New York will win this Super Bowl

Pax Arcana 

dunkin_donuts_lady.jpgGearing up for the big game (or as Pax Arcana has taken to calling it, “The Abattoir in Arizona”) MenuPages is conducting a charming — if grossly unscientific — food Super Bowl between Boston and New York.

After two posts — in which everything from pizza to ice cream has been compared — New York is slightly ahead by MenuPages’ reckoning, though maybe not for long:

But don’t worry: we’ve got hamburgers, soup, and cookies up this afternoon and things are looking good for the Hub.

Look, I don’t want to get too wrapped up in this little squabble, but comparing Boston food to New York food is like comparing apples to much, much better apples. I’ve had some awesome food here, and I think the fish selection around here is matched only by the Pacific Northwest for freshness and taste.

But let’s be serious. In almost every staple Pax Arcana food category — delis, bagels, pizza, street food, ethnic options — New York is superior, and not by a little. This is not even worthy of debate. New York is like the Tom Brady of food. Boston is like Matt Hasselbeck.

MenuPages gives Boston the edge in ice cream. We are fine with that. But let’s not get crazy, okay?

The Food Super Bowl: Oh, It’s On! [MenuPages]
The Food Super Bowl Continues [Menu Pages]


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Dear fellow Giants fans: Let’s not get carried away with all this


Look fellas,

We’re all happy about the Giants run, getting hot at the right time and so forth and etcetera. Pax Arcana is just as happy as the rest of you. My grandfather was a passionate Giants fan who died just months after the Giants’ last trip to the big game — a humiliating defeat to the detestable Baltimore Ravens in 2001. We want this game for him as much as anything else [Pours leftover Christmas Glug on the ground].

That said, this is a bad idea:


The last thing the Giants need in the Super Bowl is Eli Manning crapping his pants at the sight of 10,000 laser-beam-eyed death women. The guy practically soiled himself racing Peyton to eat a cookie. We’re not sure he wouldn’t run off the field covering his eyes and screaming if a critical mass of G-Men supporting mooks storm the Taco in these heart-attack inducing contraptions.

Please, Giants fans. Think of the children.

Moynahan Mask Meant To Bug Brady Like Romo [Sports By Brooks]

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