Tag Archives: Sweden

Swedish cops don’t go commando

volvo
Behold the Volvo of justice

Most Americans probably aren’t aware of this, but even the horrible socialist hell-hole nation of Sweden has laws that govern its citizenry — such as a two-abortion minimum and a 92% tax on herring sandwiches. There is even a law declaring it illegal to break into a bank-run cash depot and take a bunch of money.

That last provision was willfully ignored by a group of hooligans this week, and now Swedish police are under fire for failing to stop the theft. Because they really should have been prepared for this:

Swedish police faced stinging criticism Thursday for failing to stop helicopter-borne gunmen from pulling off a Hollywood-style heist against a cash depot while blocking an air pursuit with a fake bomb.

Whoa. WHAT?

With cinematic flourish, the masked bandits broke into the building through the roof early Wednesday and set off explosions to get to the millions inside. They escaped by hoisting themselves and their haul back up on rope lines.

They then blocked any air pursuit by planting a fake bomb at a nearby police helipad. And now the Swedish media is all ubjurdertungling* over the cops’ failure to, I don’t know, catapult themselves at the heavily armed men in the stolen helicopter as they fled the scene:

Swedish police must “be able to use the equipment that has been acquired for large amounts,” the Dagens Nyheter daily wrote in an opinion piece. “Helicopters, cars, boats and other equipment must be kept in a way so that criminals cannot sabotage them.”

Bear in mind that this is the same Swedish police force that was once led on a half-mile low-speed chase by a drunk Bill Murray in a golf cart. I think the citizens of Stockholm are lucky these guys didn’t stampede each other running away from the building. “Um, I don’t feel so good, captain Jensen… I think I had some bad fiskeboller and I need to go home for the day… BYE!”

Swedish police criticized after helicopter heist [Boston.com]

* Not a real word — to my knowledge

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Like Whistler’s Mother only with more broken glass

Pax Arcana

In America, when someone puts on a mask, spray paints the inside of a train, then smashes a window and hurls himself onto a platform in the station, we call it vandalism. In Sweden they call it an art project:

The unidentified student included video of the vandalism in his thesis at the University College of Arts, Crafts and Design. The school said it doesn’t allow students to break the law, but added it wasn’t clear whether the student participated in the vandalism or merely recorded it.

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Train vandalism is on the rise in Sweden

Surprisingly, the Swedish authorities seem to be against this sort of highbrow post-postmodern expressionism:

Chairman Christer Wennerholm said the transit authority filed a complaint against the student Monday, demanding 100,000 kronor ($12,000) in damages.

That fine might not seem like much, but you have to consider how the global economic downturn has affected the intra-Scandinavia exhange rate. 100,000 Swedish kronor is the equivalent of 5,000 Icelandic shark carcasses or 22 Norwegian herring presses. In Finland you could buy 700 sauna rocks for that kind of money.

Swedish train vandalized as part of art thesis [AP]

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Swedish man incredulous at how dumb we are

A Swedish man angry at his son-in-law for leaving his family behind for a business trip to America sent the FBI an email claiming the man was a member of Al Qaeda Sweden here to meet his contacts.

The FBI, which believes everything it reads, detained the man at the airport for 11 hours before deporting him back to Sweden.

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Ha, ha Sven! Yoke’s on you!

Eventually the FBI contacted the Swedish version of the FBI (which meets every Tuesday from 2 p.m. to 2:25 p.m.) and found out that the email tip had come from a computer owned by the non enemy combatant’s father-in-law. The man confessed:

He has admitted sending the email, but said he didn’t think “the authorities were so stupid that they would believe anything. But apparently they are.”

The Swedes always misunderestimate us.

Man angry with son-in-law fingers him as terrorist to FBI [AFP]

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