Pax Arcana
In the mid-1990s, the big breweries tried to hop on the microbrew bandwagon by “re-purposing” some of their basic swill in goofy bottles. Knowing most of us couldn’t tell the difference, they pawned off fake microbrews like Red Dog, Elk Mountain, and Killian’s Red on the unsuspecting public.
Well, as the saying goes, those who forget the lessons of history are doomed to swallow its backwash a decade later.
The AP is reporting today that Miller is planning on making Perry Ellis completely blow his stack with a new line of — and I’m not kidding — craft-style Miller Lites:
The Miller Lite Brewing Collection, which will be nationwide by September, features variations on the brewer’s biggest brand: wheat, amber and blonde ale styles, all popular among craft brewers.
Sure they make great NASCAR visors, but can they brew beer too?
The central marketing concept, the Miller Lite spokesman says, is to emphasize both the “craft” and “Lite” elements of the new beers — in much the same way that Avril Lavigne is marketed as both “edgy” and “human.”
“Some may be intimidated by the heavy flavor profile and full calories,” Green said of regular craft beers. “So we’re providing a new beer that can give you craft-style taste with significantly fewer calories and carbs.”
If you are intimidated by the “heavy flavor profile” of a craft beer, just get one that is not as heavily flavorly profiled. They are not all dark hop bombs. Many are light-tasting and refreshing, while maintaining the essential characteristics that elitist snobs like me call “taste” and “goodness.”
Anyway, they hope to sell the beers to people whose weight loss programs are centered on the purchase and consumption of alcohol:
The beers all have 110 calories per 12-ounce serving, which is more than Miller Lite’s 96 calories. But it’s less than full-calorie craft beers.
Miller Lite’s amber style is to compete with New Belgium Fat Tire, which has 159 calories per serving. Wheat will go against Blue Moon, made by Molson Coors Brewing Co. — which is set to combine U.S. operations with Miller later this year. That has 169 calories. The blonde ale will go against Bass Ale, a British brew imported by Anheuser-Busch Cos., with 155 calories per serving.
So the idea is that you save 49 – 59 calories by drinking something that probably tastes like lakewater. I just did the math in my head. 59 calories is roughly 5 minutes on the elliptical machine. I’ll have the Fat Tire, please.
paxarcana.wordpress.com 
Speechless. Just — speechless.
Miller and Coors are combining operations? Are the brands joining? Or is this just a sharing of facilities on the back end to reduce operation costs?
I echo your statement, Pax. It’s funny how the big brewers never cease to think of all craft beers as heavy, dark, daunting… they obviously have done no research on that end.
And I love how the BIG 3 always refer to other beers as “craft”. If I had a PR role at one of those companies, I’d make damn sure we’d never refer to other beers as “craft”. To me it says there is no craft at all to their own product (yet Budweiser’s current campaign tries to show that there is serious art/craft to their brewing process…yet they never use the word)
I think Miller and Coors are just combining some of their brewing and distribution operations, not merging as companies. I’m not sure, though.
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