Old people banging, happy

Father Scott

LiveScience reports that in studies taken over the last thirty years, there has been a significant jump in the sexual activities of senior citizens. Gross.

Between the first survey [1971] and the last [2001], the frequency of sexual intercourse was found to have increased among all groups. Among married men, 68 percent said they were engaging in the practice in the latest poll, compared with 52 percent in 1971, while among married women the number had risen from 38 percent to 56 percent.

Bow-chicka-bow-wow

The beguiling and seductive Mrs. Pax Arcana answered the poll saying that her husband had “failed to achieve an erection since Ronald Reagan was a winsome young actor.”

A positive side to the story: seniors’ happiness is trending upwards as well.

[M]ore 21st-century women said they were highly satisfied with their sex; fewer said they had low satisfaction; more said they experienced an orgasm during sex; and fewer said they had never had an orgasm.

Regarding the degree to which the respondents said they felt “very happy” about their relationship, the three-decade trend also moved in a similarly positive direction for both genders: rising from 40 percent to 57 percent among men, and from 35 percent to 52 percent among women.

The researchers suggested that while sexual improvement drugs such as Viagra were part of the solution, it mostly comes down to changing attitudes about sex and how to deal with unhappy relationships or marriages (leave them). I think general health is probably part of the equation too — more medication keeping people alive and active for longer periods of their lives.

And of course, the medication is so expensive, they can’t afford to go on a cruise or play canasta, so they rub up against each other’s fake hips instead.

Don’t tempt me so, Betty